I am, by the grace of The Almighty, finally learning to take Life easy. I have always been a hurried and scurried kind of man, never realizing the importance (like Yang Tshering Lepcha, one of my favourite students tried to make me understand recently) of living in the present and singing hymns to the glory of Life. For as long as I can remember it, Life has been busy like it is going to be from next Tuesday on, when there will be the  first three lots of the six totalling some 250 papers coming my way. I am an extremely slow marker and marking the students’ papers always takes ages for me. So life, for me, after a couple of days, will be back to square one and that is all the more reason, why I should live in the calm and quiet of the present moment, to enjoy Life to the fullest!

There is another reason why I want to drink in the abundant Gaiety and Glory of the Gift called Life. I am not sure if it was a dream or some kind of hallucination. Last night I  retired to bed quite early, by 9.30 or so. I was sound asleep and lost to the rest of the world, when I found myself locked in a bathroom. There flickered a pain in my chest abruptly. A terrible, benumbing pain as I found myself lying on the floor. In the recess of my mind, I knew that I had to do something immediately, not to let go of Life precious. I desperately tried, still lying down, to unlatch the door. The act of stretching my hand in order to get hold of the latch seemed to take eternity. And then there was this fear. A nameless fear that gnawed at my whole being like nothing else in the world could! The fear that one feels when one finds oneself staring at the ruthlessly cold face of Death. As I could feel time trickling by, the fear completely overpowered me.

I felt something heavy on my chest and having turned my head, I could also find my beloved wife sleeping by my side. Due to the inexplicable, terrible fear, I awoke my wife selfishly. I was still so terrified by the dream or whatever, that I started feeling extremely rattled and hot, though not exactly sweating. I removed the blanket weighing tons over my chest, fearing that if I had let it stay there, the chilly pain would never go away!

My dearest wife, as understanding as ever, sleepily heard me through the utterance of my predicament and went back to her slumber as fast as she was awakened! I could not go back to sleep though. I lay awake for a long time, feeling utterly miserable! And then the thought of all the people I have wronged in my life, took hold of my awakening. I started thinking of all the people, mostly my relatives, I might have injured by my careless and inconsiderate behavior and remarks. The people, who at one time or the other, appeared to be selfish or unsympathetic, did not seem to be so anymore! The voice in my head kept on reminding me that it was I who misunderstood them, misjudged their good intentions and proved myself to be a pain in the back, in the process! I decided, in the middle of the night, to beg for their forgiveness, the moment I could get to meet them next! I silently started weeping to myself that, no matter what, I would always try to be beside those people, loving them throughout, in their good and bad days. I also made a pledge to myself in the creepy stillness of the night never to say anything nasty or unpleasant to anyone in my life (Oh! How I wish this pledge to come true!) and never ever be proud of myself, if with the blessings of The Almighty, I could be of any use to anybody!

I might have fallen asleep again, due to the fatigue of the fearful dream, when, believe it or not, Dear Reader, I dreamt for the second time in the span of a couple of hours! The second dream was no better than the first, if not more terrifying!

This time I found myself venting it all on one of my elder brothers. He, being elder to me, bore with my outbursts, in amazement, shock and with utmost patience, without doing so much as opening his mouth in protest! Never did this brother of mine speak harshly to me in return, most probably, in the belief that I would own up to my mistakes in due course of time! (That comes with age. One starts acting far more patiently, getting above all the pettiness and narrowness as one inches closer to the Netherlands!) I also found another hapless man, lying close by, all gory and bloodied, crying mercilessly out for understanding and fellow-feeling! The man asked me not to keep any grudges against him for he really was helpless. He also blessed me with an insight into the causes of his helplessness for a while.

The last stated fact was the final straw in the coffin and drove home to me my immaturity (at 53!) and lack of understanding. I realized that Life, the greatest gift of God to mankind, is not all about keeping grudges and rivalry, about avenging the wrongs, insults or hurts inflicted on me by others out of helplessness. But it is something far more glorious than that. A true realization of Life, in its glorious sense of the term, comes from the knowledge that it is all about making oneself useful to all, especially to the helpless and the needy, in times of crises. Life is all about making the greatest sacrifices one can for making others happy, even at the cost of one’s happiness! It is all about celebrating the sheer joy of living, with all those people we are privileged to spend some quality time with.

As I tried rubbing away the remnants of the sleep from my awakening eyes, I could see the blissful dawn, breaking out from behind the graying mountains. Another glorious day was slowly unfolding on the eastern horizon. 

Enjoy the calm blissfulness of Life.

The Glory of  Life at the breaking Dawn.